Teachers are teachers!!

According to a news report, a certain private school in Sydney was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. After they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night - (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses). To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror...



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Moral to this story:-
There are teachers.... And then there are educators...

Family Prob :))

Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said: "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation, A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married. Later my father married my stepdaughter. That made my step daughter my stepmother and my father became my stepson. Also my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law. Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son, but he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grand-son. That made me the grand-father of my half-brother. This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grand-mother. This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife, I'm my step-mother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I'm My own grandfather! And you think you have family problems!"

Englishhh

Ye angreji hai...........................bhai!
Have a nice day!
----- * Achcha din lo!

What's up?
----- *Uppar kya hai?

You're kidding!
----- *Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!

Don't kid me!
----- * Mera bachcha mat banaao!

Yo, baby! What's up?
-----* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?

Cool man!
-----* Thandaa aadmi!

Check this out, man!
----* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!

She's so fine!
----- * Woh itnee baareek hai!

Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!?
----- * Suno dost, woh chooza mera hai, theek?

Hey good looking; what's cooking?
----* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya pakaa rahee ho?

Are you nuts?
----- * Kya aap akhrot hain?

Son of a gun.
----- * Bachcha bandook ka.

Rock the party.
---- * Party mein patthar feko.

And the best ones are.....

How do you do?
----- * Kaise karte ho?

Keep in touch!
----- * Chhoote Raho.

Don't mess with me, dude.
----- * Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.

Lets hang out!
----- * Chalo bahar latakte hain

BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE'S A SMART WOMAN

A point of view ... Barbara Walters of Television's 20/20 did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. From Miss Walters' vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands, and are happy to maintain the old custom.

Miss Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'

The woman looked Miss Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said,


'Land Mines.'

Moral of the story is ... (no matter where you go) ... BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE'S A SMART WOMAN!

The Theory Of Intelligence

I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this ;)

'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

Simple solutions

When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity (ink won't flow down to the writing surface). To solve this problem, it took them one decade and $12 million. They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees C.

And what did the Russians do...?? They used a pencil.

The Obedient wife !!!

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real "miser" when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife... "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him..

Well, he died.

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,"Wait just a moment!" She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you were not fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.

" You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it."